Ok so here goes:
I took a two month hiatus from this blog. This blog was created via a spark from ‘Alex’ and a need to answer everyone’s questions about my trip without repeating myself a bunch of times (I care that you care trust me).
Then I left Japan and returned home. Now what? What do I write about? I literally felt depressed when I came back. Didn’t really talk to most people for two weeks; always pretended I had prior engagements. Do you see the power of negativity through speech? I spoke this into existence through a previous entry.
As time went on, my voyage felt more like a dream. I’d changed and even though I have visual and physical evidence of my endeavours, I began to feel like my sorrow was proportioned to my loss and/or therefore lack of my love affair…
Well if it was just that, wasn’t it doomed to end someday? No, I just couldn’t let it. Maybe my sub-conscious created the music project as a defence. So that I may always have a tangible connection. HUH?! What do you mean you didn’t know about my new EP and you haven’t checked out my soundcloud?? You must not follow me on twitter. Sort it out.
A world of emotions in the space of two months. “It’s a shame you know, the only one distancing myself from my own creation was myself” and that right there, was the camel back breaking straw. How dare I let such a great representation of my affinity wither into nothingness. This is MY creation.
So I’m back, fo’ sho sho because the real true common thread in all of this is me. I made a promise to many people that I’d return. I haven’t allowed myself to disprove that yet. Why not a healthy dose of positive creative visualisation.
Lastly, I spoke to my friend A**** today. She knew what I was going through. She described it as good girl/bad girl psycho-analysis thingy. Hopefully this should only apply to the minority. Picture a positive and negative version of yourself, sitting on either shoulder.
When it’s time for you to attack something new or difficult, your mini-me’s battle it out for your attention. Your mood and success is determined by the loudest mini-me. They’re both barking at you but when the negative one is typically a Spike looking bulldog and the other is a cuwtieliddlepoodle, it’s time to weigh up your emotional need for pets.
Let’s make a change. Poodles are fluffy and all that but they’re really not fulfilling their purpose right now; they never could. We need something bigger and more commanding than this poodle. A creature that would hear Spike attempting to venture outside of his kennel, will boot it’s jaw and say “SHAAAAAADDUUUUPP!!”
How about a tiger, or an elephant, maybe a horse?
Thank you A! x