Mr Mos Def… I am not!!

20110718-040932.jpgOk so I’m chilling with my friends in their utopia of a work park. It’s nice there. Every Friday, there’s some kinda of fair, exhibition or large group activity like table football with real people, a live cooking show etc.

It’s the type of Sims world that’s usually sunny, regardless of the weather in the rest of the city. After my friends finish their lunch and go back to work, I like to hang around for a bit, chill with the late lunchers and beg a thought about what life would be like working around there.

Last time however, I felt a lil’ brave. I should have taken my ass home but courage escorted me into the local coffee joint to get my Mocha & Peppermint frappuccino (those that know may holla @AaronJaunty).

I entered the shop as Aaron Jaunty and in some Stars in their Eyes fashion, appeared as Mos Def to this non-Alicia Keys looking waitress. I wasn’t even fully aware of what was taking place, as I can easily demonstrate. The conversation went “A lil something like thiiiisss (hit it)“:

Me: Can I have a blah blah with blah please?
Non-Alicia: Which size blah blah?
Me: Blah blah
Non-Alicia: That’s £blah and blahp
Me: Here you go
Non-Alicia: Sooooooooo… Do you work around here then?
Me: Nah, I don’t
Non-Alicia: Oh…
(how are you gonna ask a question when you’re not ready for the answer??)
Non-Alicia: Well what are you doing here then?
Me: My friends work here. I just came down to check them
Non-Alicia: Ok well you have to come and visit me now!
Me: Alright, well you’re gonna need to take your break at the same time as them then…?
(Oh Aaron…)
Non-Alicia: I can’t, I’ve just started work
Me: Oh well, never mind
Non-Alicia: So you’ll visit me, yes?
Me: *shrugs* Aight then!
Non-Alicia: I’m not joking ya nah
(She rips off some long off blank till paper and hands me a pen)

Oh Dear Deidre, we have a diggity, diggy dilemma (sorry I couldn’t find a clip with Neutrino in it). Now I’m a friendly person. I like meeting friendly people and I know what it’s like when you’re trying to get a number and you fall short. I’m the type of real dude they should wanna get to know in truth; if you’re like me, your mindset’s something like “I’m the shit fool! I’m a part of the ‘I’m the shit’ crew!!”

So now the shoes on the other foot, so to speak. What’s my excuse? She wasn’t overly aggressive. Pretty bubbly & 🙂 (*smiley face*). Plus it’s a rarity these days for an (arguably above) average guy on an average Friday afternoon to get propositioned in this way. I had a nano-second and then some to make a decision.

LMAO (on the inside) I simply thought “Why not?” and jotted down my number. That wasn’t so hard was it? Especially as that coffee was ‘-> to gooooo ->’, nah meen?? Once I left, I quickly BID (broke it down) to ‘Uncle’ about this matter, suggesting that my friendship was her’s if she wanted it.

Me: Maybe she just wants to be friends! Naive much??
‘Uncle’: Haha, you’ve gotta nip it in the bud bruv

Only, I wasn’t interested in the least and the subsequent exchange lasted all of half a day before we never spoke again.

There’s a whole umbrella of topics following this, that could be addressed, all relevant to the single and dating arena (or just the dating arena for some of you addicts YKWYA). I want to keep it specific to this theme and ask a few questions though:

Why was I caught out by this scenario? Why don’t more females approach guys? They might find the ones they’re happy to date instead of attracting the same types that make ’em miserable. Maybe? What’s the likeliness of just being ‘friends’ after? How is it that after that day, I still feel like I don’t understand 10% of what females go through on a regular basis? What do I need to do in order for this to happen more often 😛 (*stick tongue out of mouth face*)? How comes she doesn’t look like Alicia Keys dammit?!?!

Stamped address envelopes => my Twitter. Thaaaaaaaaaaaankssssssshhhh!

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One Response to Mr Mos Def… I am not!!

  1. jauntyone87 says:

    This just in from @uncletypewriter @ http://www.uncletypewriter.com:

    “Let me answer your questions…
    1. You were caught out because generally, females don’t approach dudes. They’re used to being approached. Also, since you weren’t really checking her like that, I guess you didn’t expect her to be all pressed like she was (sorry, she was pressed)

    2. Females don’t generally approach guys for myriad reasons: fear of rejection, never having to do it before. A lot of guys are dicks about being approached, we approach you in more subtle ways etc etc

    3. Likelihood of being friends after a straight turn down? Or friends after dating then it fizzling to nothing?”

    Editor’s note: Friends initially with no dating involved whatsoever. Failing that, nothing, as was the case following a mere 24 hours!

    “4. You don’t understand what females go through because you don’t have boobs and ovaries. We can’t expect you to.

    5. How do you make sure you get approached more often? Look more like Lil Bow Wow’s bitch ass. No but seriously, just be you.

    6. and FINALLY, she didn’t look more like Alicia Keys because nature is eradicating all A. Keys lookalikes due to ratchetry.

    Thank you for your time and please do return to the UT fount of wisdom at your earliest convenience.”

    Hmmmmm, that’s @uncletypewriter’s take on things. What do you think?

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